What happened?

I haven't written anything in awhile and this is difficult to write, but I feel called to tell some of my story. Whether anyone sees this, or reads this, I have no clue. So here goes:

I've been battling trying to figure out things. Things like life. My life. Have you ever watched a movie, or read a book, and then asked: what the heck happened to my life? This is not what I hoped for. Not what I planned. Not what I saw for the future me. Not what I took a vow for. Where did I go wrong? I am no where I planned on being at my age.

Growing up, I only wanted to be a wife and a mom. I was, for awhile. Well, still am. Kind of. In the eyes of God and my church, I am still a wife. My husband and the courts of Minnesota don't see it that way, but I answer to God. Most family members don't see it the way I do either. I feel like I am the pathetic one. The poor one (seriously, I am poor - financially - haven't had a job in years and can't get one for some reason.) I'm shunned by my oldest son. It hurts that I am longer a member of my husbands family, even though I consider all of them my family. I feel like I am the embarrassment of the family  - whose husband cheated on her (everyone knew it but me), not out dating after the divorce when through, I don't party, Oh! I don't like gambling or bingo, I don't have a job (believe me I've tried and no one will interview me), lives in a house that is literally falling down around me, I have an autoimmune disease which doctors don't or won't diagnose and keep changing their minds, I can't even get approved for disability benefits because of my pain and anxiety disorder, I feel like the family charity case. Can't begin to explain how deeply it all hurts. I'm still a wife, in the sense, that I am upholding my marriage vows. God asked me to. After my husband announced, out of the blue, that he filed for divorce and was leaving - God knocked me to my knees and asked me to stand for my marriage and family. I said yes. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But, I trust God.

After my husband left, my spiritual journey took off. God showed me so many amazing things and my love for Him grew by leaps and bounds. At the same time, the enemy has hit and the pain has been horrible. So many things were happening, that I met with my Priest and asked him, 'What the heck is happening to me?' His answer was: 'you are falling in love with Jesus. And God has asked you to do this for a reason, it's going to be rough, but I will be here with you on this journey.'  Nine years later, he was moved to a different parish in the archdiocese and it's been difficult without his spiritual guidance. Sometimes, God removes things so you can lean more on Him. I get that and I've been trying to do that. It's hard, I am human and. sometimes, it is nice to have an answer right away or someone to talk with to help sort things out. God does help, but in His way, which is good. Just hard for us humans to understand and many times you feel very much alone. It's been very difficult as God has allowed me to learn more and more about the hurt that my husband caused. Opening my eyes? I don't know. I just have one question, and that is, 'why?' Why, God, am I going through this? Why so much hurt? Why?  Then I want to ask my husband, why. Why did he cheat on me? When he promised that he never would. Why with so many women? Why wasn't I good enough? Why was I a married single parent?  And then I ask God, why were my prayers not answered for my marriage and family?

Then my family fell apart. Literally, it fell apart. My oldest son had an argument with my Mother. Both are extremely stubborn people. I love them both, but both are stubborn. One stupid day, when they both let anger take over and that is the day my world really crumbled. I had to deal with my husbands adultery, being humiliated over and over and over with a divorce and gossip. What held me through that pain was my faith in God and my family: my 2 sons, my daughter in law and my grandkids. That day, 7 years ago, my heart was ripped out of my chest and hasn't been put back. My son accused me of taking sides in the argument - I don't take sides and I didn't take any side that day. He refused to believe me. He and his family lived with me, but from that day on - they no longer ate their meals in the kitchen and the kids were no longer allowed to be near me or allowed to come upstairs to be with me and were told, I no longer cared for them. They moved out a few months later and I think they live in a nice place in the town next to ours, I'm not sure - I've not been there. I do get glimpses of them once in awhile in town, or at the school the kids go to and my son works at. At our nephew's wedding, I walked into the reception and my grandson saw me and a look of total terror came over his face. My heart was once again ripped out of my chest. I went to look for my name to see what table I was sitting at. I found it. By myself with people I didn't know and meanwhile at another table was my husband with his 'friend', our two sons, our daughter in law and our grandkids. I prayed, I ate dinner and left and sat in the chapel and sobbed and asked God, why. Why did you ask me to stand in the gap for my marriage to be restored? You know, I recently felt like giving up and asked our new Priest if I should just file for an annulment - heavens, I have reason to - and he said adamantly: no.  He told me to trust in God, to honor my marriage vows and vocation of marriage/wife/mother. I am and it's hard.

I've often told God, that I'm not sure that He can heal the hole in my heart that was my marriage and family and trust and love. Why do we go through this pain - whether it's adultery, divorce, debilitating illnesses, illnesses that have no cure only a death sentence - why? Sometimes, we go through purgatory on earth - as my Priest friend said: it's now or later, to which I replied: it hurts. He agreed. Sometimes, God also allows us to go through these trials to polish us just as a refiner polishes silver - until he can see his face in the silver. Many times I ask: am I polished yet? Many times I also know that I am the prodigal sons brother: what about me? Or, I'm more Martha than Mary. It's not an easy road, it's a very narrow road - but it leads us to Heaven and we just have to be like the Blessed Mother Mary and trust completely in God and ponder all of these things in our hearts.

As for the title of my blog: 'When I Make God Smile' - is He smiling at me now through all of my doubt and tears and broken heart? Yeah, I think He is. It's that loving and gentle smile that a parent gives His child when they are hurting that says: I love you and I am always with you, even through all of the pain. I totally understand.

Psalm 66:10-12  For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.
Luke 15:25-32 25 "Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 "And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. 27 "And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.' 28 "But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 "But he answered and said to his father, 'Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.' 31 "And he said to him, 'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 'But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'"

Luke 10:38-42 38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

Jell-o Salad, it's a Minnesota thing

Minnesotan's (and Lutherans) love jell-o salad with holiday meals. I grew up with grape jello that had pears in it and, for some odd reason, the middle of the jello mold was filled with mayo/salad dressing - this was served quite a bit over my younger years by my Protestant and Lutheran family. I always cringed at the mayo. But the grape jell-o with the pears? Oh yum - I know sounds strange, but the two flavors go so well together. I always made sure I got the edge of the jello to avoid the mayo. ;-) 

So, today, I thought I would make my Great Gram Dot Kiser and Grandma Hattie proud and have grape jell-o with the pears. (but no mayo - sorry Grams) with our Easter dinner. They probably rolled over in their graves, as I forgot to take the jell-o out of the fridg before it 'set' to put the pears in. Oops. So, I improvised and cut up the pears into bite size bits and just stirred up the jell-o with the pears (they're not supposed to be cut up, but the halves are to be placed evenly and decoratively around the jello mold). So, it's a lumpy jell-o salad, but sure tastes like it always did ;-) 

But, I am sure that my Lutheran and Protestant relatives, who rolled over in their graves twice, are blaming it on my being a Catholic for 37 years - we don't know the proper way to make jell-o salads cuz you just don't see a jell-o salad at many Catholic church suppers.   

Trust me, it tastes really very good. 

;-)

Up north and storms in the south

The problem of living in a county that is 30 miles long, is when a BIG weather system is moving across the southern half of the state and this long county is in the path, we are included in the warnings. Tornadoes in southern Washington county and our sirens will go off and we have blue skies up here and vice versa. The latest fiasco - a huge Winter storm warning was moving this way with the predictions of ginormous snow totals and for 2 days my phone kept beeping and giving storm update and warnings. Ermergerd, but it was getting annoying. The grocery stores were packed with people stocking up on salad, bread and milk (yep, got it from a reliable source - salad was being bought like crazy, they couldn't keep up). And, as my chocolate loving kindred spirit pointed out - the "fake news" of the major storm was the salad hoarding. She stated if she's going to be hunkered down with a blizzard, she's clearing out the bakery section. I'm with her!  Blizzard heading out way; hunkered down in a cozy warm home; do we choose salad or chocolate donuts to get through the storm? Oh, I am so going with the chocolate donuts. I can just picture Nancy and I sweeping our arms across the shelves in the bakery to prepare for the Winter storm as others are grabbing their salad fixings. Just that image caused me to belly laugh and crave a chocolate donut. So, here it is the day after the huge storm was being beeped and honked about and up here at the very northern tip of the county - we didn't even get a rogue snowflake. I am a bit envious, as we haven't had a really good blizzard in years. However, on the bright side, everyone in the area has salad to eat with their bread and milk and we don't have to shovel snow and with the cooler temps, the driveway mud is evaporating and all is well in the north country, er, county. And, since the roads are clear - I'm heading to the store for a chocolate donut. Hey, we've got to support our neighbors to the south who are all stranded with - salad.

 ;-)

Un-Olympic Events

I've lost count of my many Un-Olympic events that I have failed to earn a medal.

It is Olympic time - summer games 2016 and a friend of mine had challenged all of us on FB to list our Un-Olympic events that failed to earn a medal.  This challenge made me remember a lot of Un-Olympic events in my life from: 'walking out the front door' (I get hurt a lot walking out the front door) to 'walking in saddle shoes after a rain storm'.  So, today a friend, Doug, tagged me in an awesome comment about a 41 year old gymnast currently competing in the Olympics and her tough vault which ended in her landing too hard and going forward and turning that disastrous landing into a somersault. I jut know that she meant to do that. It was all in her planning - I know it. Okay, maybe not, but she saved it! So, that landing made me remember my Un-Olympic event #5,498.

Picture this: Gymnastics, for gym class, at Mounds Park Junior High School -  1973 - 8th grade with one of my dearest friends, Linda S. Our gym teacher thought that Lindy and I would do great at gymnastics, so she had us work at whatever we wanted to do for extra credit for the class. Lindy and I played a lot of sports together: softball (eventually going to Nationals 5 years later), flag football, floor hockey, and volleyball (she was by my side when I landed on the volleyball and fractured my ankle - ooo, another Un-Olympic event, spiking the volleyball during warm ups and landing on it with your foot) and I was at her side when she dove into the pool and scraped the bottom of the pool with her nose (yet, another Un-Olympic event created by us). I helped her tape her broken nose (hey, we saw this on TV) so she could play softball (National tournament) and together we created a paste of baby powder and Noxzema to soothe our very sun burnt shoulders so we could wear our bras and polyester softball uniforms to play softball in the 200 degree Georgia heat. Neither one of them worked, but hey, we were in this together.

So back to 1973 and 8th grade gym class and our attempt at being gymnasts. We tried all of the gymnastic things - balance beam (yeah that didn't work), acrobatics (nope), parallel bars (couldn't lift ourselves up) - just think of the gym scene in Grease, where Danny Zuko is trying to get his letter and find a sport he could do - that would be the two of us in the middle of all of the gymnastic apparatus thingies. Our gym teacher, Miss Anderson, decided that Linda and I would be great at the vault (considering our epic performances on the other gymnastic apparatus, this one would be a piece of cake ). So, we were ready and psyched. We were the only two in the gym on the horse/vault and taking turns spotting each other.

We actually didn't do so bad, in our minds, until Lindy decided to be super girl. I had jut finished my klutzy attempt at running and hitting the whatchamacallit that you jump on to leap onto the horse and then do your thing in the air and hopefully land on your feet on the mat. My thing was surviving the leap. There was a whole lot of giggling from us as we were attempting to be gymnasts. And there was a whole lot of landing on the mat and flying forward on our faces as the other one was trying to catch the flying one to avoid injury. It probably looked more like a wrestling match as we tried to catch each other and ended up rolling off of the mat onto the floor. Then came the epic super girl attempt by Lindy. She took off running at super speed and leaped off of the jumpy thing and had perfect 10 form and with her arms in perfect form, her body lined up to make a perfect jump,landing and....then it happened: she flew right over the horse and landed in my arms and we both sailed off of the mat and rolled across the gym floor still holding on to each other for dear life. As we laid there on the cold floor, in our lovely two toned blue one piece gym suits and white knee highs, with our arms still wrapped around each other, We both decided right then and there that gymnastics was definitely not our sport. We stood up, brushed ourselves off and together decided we were sticking to softball and walked (possibly limped) out of the gym side by side. We didn't look back.

And, here is the video of the 41 year old gymnast from Uzbekistan, that brought back the memory of my attempt at being a gymnast. Thank you Doug for tagging me in the post to see this. Thank you for making me laugh, I needed that.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/oksana-chusovitina-attempts-dangerous-vault-olympic-final

The forgotten blog

I kind of forgot that I had a blog. I had started it with the intent to type every day. Or once a week. Once a month for sure. Um, it's been longer than a month. I was really shocked to see that it's been 4 years. I hope to type more than a few times every 4 years. Now I feel really silly, that I've ignored my blog for 4 years. It's not that I haven't witnessed God's smiles in the past 4 years, I have. I just have felt like I didn't have what it takes to write anything that anyone would want to read. I was very discouraged. A lot has happened in the last 4 years that has taken the wind out of my writing sails. It's been a frustrating 4 years, that's for dang sure. So, here I go again. And I have to acknowledge and thank my adopted daughter, Stefanie, for asking her friends on Facebook who has a blog. Sweetie, you are my smile from God to make me start up my blog again. And, thank you to my youngest son, Mark, for reading what I type to let me know how it is and for encouraging me to listen to God's nudges and not argue with the Lord when He said in that still small voice: 'write.' So here goes - again......I hope I entertain readers with how I view this thing called life and God's smiles. And, it is rather difficult to write a blog - to type your feelings on life makes you feel quite vulnerable. It's kind of like those bad dreams that you have of being back in high school and your are either in your pajamas or, ahem, not in your pajamas. My intent in writing my blog is to make you smile. or laugh. Maybe help you grow closer to God and see His smiles in everyday happenings. I know for myself, finding God's smiles in everything has taken a number of years of letting go and letting God; of trusting Him with my life and my family; of opening my eyes to all that He has shown me on this journey that is life. So, some of my blogs will definitely be about God's smiles that I have noticed and, like today's, just my own smiles on what I have notice in this crazy world of ours. I hope, dear readers (if any are out there) that I entertain you with how I see life. God bless you! So, here we go again......

The following is my view from August 1,2016: We have subscribe to a few services to watch TV shows and movies and I shall use only initials as I don't want to get into any copyright trouble for using their names, but I think you will be able to figure out who, or what, I am talking about. One of the viewing services I shall call AP. I am very excited to have AP at my fingertips. Seriously, it is at my fingertips, it’s on my laptop. I’ve been going through all of the lists and finding things to watch. I just finished watching all 6 seasons of Downton Abbey. I think I was the only person on my Facebook friends list who didn’t watch all episodes on channel 2, aka PBS, religiously. I loved the show, but just kept forgetting it was on Sunday night.  I watched enough of the episodes to know that I love Maggie Smith’s character, the Dowager Duchess. So, I watched every episode in a little over a week. I loved it.  I will probably watch it again. It was like a really good book and all of the characters became family you didn’t want it to end. So, I decided to check out to see what else AP has to offer.  

I typed in the word ‘exercise’ and hit the little magnifying glass icon. To my surprise, 252 pages came up with about 20 titles on each page (I think, I didn’t count). I am looking for a specific exercise show that I can watch – I never said I was going to do the exercises, but I do like to watch them and think that I could do that exercise, or maybe that one and then I go on with my daily business. I used to exercise with the daily 1/2 hour shows back in my younger days, I did seriously, but I can’t remember what they are called, but I figured if I just typed in the word ‘exercise’ I might be able to find them. I didn’t expect 252 pages of at least 20 shows per page. As I am perusing all of the exercise shows and clicking on a few or three to add to my watch list, I did notice a few that I am sure are not exercise videos, one starred Rosalind Russell and I don't believe she made an exercise video.  There was even videos to, um, build up your backside. I have enough backside thank you very much and I don’t care to make it any bigger than it is. My goal is to make the backside smaller. I have to say that some of these titles for actual exercises made me blush and bust out laughing. 

And, just for the record, I shall not click on a yoga video. I tried yoga once, a number of years ago and I fell on my head. I really did. I decided right there and then that yoga was not for me. And, did you know that there is even a belly dancing video for pregnancy? I know! It's for the 3^rd trimester of pregnancy, and it's belly dancing for labor.  It’s been a few years since the birth of my youngest son, but I know for a fact, belly dancing would not have been something I would have wanted to do. The mere suggestion could have possibly caused someone to be injured. Seriously injured. My poor husband tried cracking a joke and I just about choked the life out of him. I cannot imagine anyone in their right mind deciding to belly dance while enduring pain that feels as though a mack truck is trying to escape from your body. 

And much to my surprise, as I am glancing through the titles, still looking for my specific show, I found that they also have in the exercise category, a video to relax with: relaxing to the sounds of a toilet. I’m not kidding. For 1 hour and 4 minutes, you can relax to the sounds of a working toilet. Who? What? Why? Seriously, it’s really offered for your viewing, or rather listening pleasure – 1 hour and 4 minutes of the sound of a toilet to relax you. I know that listening to a toilet for 64 minutes is not going to relax me one bit.  That would seriously drive me nuts and make me have to go to the bathroom! If that relaxation won’t work for you, you can also listen to the sounds of rain on a tent. I'm thinking that would not relax me as my family can attest to what happens when I hear a storm on the horizon and we are in a tent. The sound of rain on a tent to me means: water dripping in to the tent, moisture building up and causing my hair to expand like Rosanne Roseannadanna's hair, wind to cause the tent to fall on us, thunder and lightening, lightening striking the trees we are under, and the list goes on. Yeah, I am ready for anything when camping. So when I hear rain on a tent, my first instinct is to execute an evacuation to safer and drier places, also known as the back of the station wagon at 2 in the morning. Yep, I did this on one of our camping trips. And then I sat up to await the dreaded storm, that I knew I heard. After, sitting in a cramped and very warm car for ½ an hour and no storm arrived, I decided to investigate and discovered that the noise I heard was the neighboring camp sites fire. I woke my sleeping family (including the dog) to tell them all was clear (and dry) and we can go back to the tent. They weren’t very happy with me when I admitted that what I heard was the neighboring campers fire and it really did sound like rain - it did! But I reminded them that they all did very well for our first (and last) camping fire drill on emergency evacuations during a thunderstorm while under trees and in a tent. I know I would do better at camping if I was in an RV. or maybe a hotel. with a pool. and served breakfast. or maybe had room service. 

I’m now going back to peruse the  very long list of exercise videos, which also includes a Brazilian war dance workout. That may come in handy when in the woods. I shall add that to my watch list. I’m a good scout mom – be prepared. You never know when an opportunity may arise and you need to break out into a Brazilian war dance to scare off a bear, or a wolf, or maybe a squirrel when out in the wilderness at a campsite with a pool and showers. I shall be prepared. Maybe. 

Lessons learned from Song Birds

To me, there is nothing more beautiful then birds. I love watching them interact with each other - watching the different breeds all share the same feeding spot. Once in awhile, someone gets a little greedy and gets chased out or chases someone else away, but for the most part the birds all get along. Many times I've thought that people could learn some lessons from watching the birds. I love watching them look for food and they are never worried, because it seems that they know that God always provides for them. Whether it is bird seed from a feeder, seeds from a plant, bugs, water - they just don't worry - it' will be provided. Many times when I am so caught up in the problems of the circumstances I am going through, I really need to remind myself to watch the birds. The great lesson that we can learn from watching them is:

• #1 -  Trust God. Always. Know in your heart that God has your best interest in His heart and is always there for you. Lesson learned: never doubt God.
• #2 - Be wary for predators, the birds are always on guard for their enemies. We need to be wary of the enemy aka Satan and his lies and schemes which will draw us away from God. Lesson learned: be on guard always for the trick from the devil and stay in God's Word and presence.
• #3 - Sing Praises to the Lord. My favorite 'alarm clock' is the songs from the birds (and lately we have a bird that likes to wake up at 3AM). And I believe that they are singing their morning prayers to God, thanking Him for the day ahead, for the food that they know he will provide, for shelter in the storms. Usually, the Robins are the first to wake up, but now the new birds in the neighborhood evidently like to get up before the Robins - haven't figured out which birds they are yet, but how can you get angry - even at 3AM - at the beautiful song they are singing? I love how they also have different songs they sing at dusk, again songs of Praise and Thanks to God for a beautiful day. Lesson learned: Praise God always - sing, pray, dance - all for Our Father in Heaven.
• #4 - Keep in contact with family and friends. Many times I will hear the sound of the male Cardinal calling for his mate, calling and then patiently waiting for her response. Once in awhile, he will have to move to another tree or higher up to call for her, but she always answers. I love listening to the birds communicating back and forth across the yards during the day. Many times I've often felt it would be great to be like a Dr. Doolittle and understand what they are saying to each other. Are they brothers or sisters catching up on the family news? Or are they (as I imagine from growing up, two housewives talking back and forth between the yards) 'bird wives' gossiping back and forth about what the others have done. Of maybe 'teenage' birds talking about the other 'young birds' in the neighborhood. Lesson learned: never walk away from family, always stay in contact with them. God blessed us with family and friends for a reason, cherish them always.
• #5 - Look out for storms. My Grandpa Phil taught me about the birds and said they were the best at forecasting the weather. Just watch them. They are quite active, almost frantic, before a big storm hits  and I'm talking hours. Feeding, calling to each other and finally before the big storm hits - silence. Once in awhile, just before the storm hits, you will hear a single chirp that will travel across the yards between the birds, I'm guessing to make sure all are there and ready or maybe letting each other know what is coming or just reassurance that all will be well, trust in God, hang tight. Lesson learned: During the storms in life, trust God to get you through. Many times the words: 'Be Not Afraid' are repeated over and over in the Bible. God said them for a reason.
• #6 - Perserverance. Last fall, we had a big wind storm blow through that took down the Orioles nest from our front tree. This nest has been there for many years and we have 2 Oriole couples that always come back every year. We have one nest in the front yard and one in the back yard. When I seen that the nest in the front yard was literally blown off the branches, I was really sad thinking they might not come back this year since their home was gone. But that didn't deter them. They were back singing beautifully and re-built their home in the top branches of the same tree. Lesson to learn? The loss of their home didn't get them down, they just pulled up their birdie britches and re-built it on the same spot.  Their songs were just as joyous re-building their new home as it always is when they arrive for the summer. I was so happy to see they re-built their nest and thrilled to watch them start another family. Lesson learned: Don't give up, when life knocks you down, get back up. God sends on these journeys for a reason - to learn. Especially to learn to depend on Him, He is always there for us.
• #7 - Never leave your family. We also have an Eastern Phoebe couple that decided to build their nest right outside our front door, on top of a big, round thermometer. I was a bit apprehensive when I seen them building this and many friends have suggested removing it so they won't attack us. But I felt that the Good Lord wanted them to build there and they felt safe, so my son and I decided to leave it be. And so far, we are living in a peaceful harmony - she watches for the front door to open and flies away to the bushes in front of the garage. She also watched for the car to pull in the driveway and flies to the shepherds hook in the front yard waiting for us to get in the house. Papa Phoebe just sits in the bushes watching. The only time she did not move was during a severe storm and I had to leave to pick my son up from work. She sat on her nest and wasn't moving. I was very worried that when I opened the door, she would fly out, but she didn't. This greatly impressed me that she was not leaving her babies/eggs no matter what. Reminded me of the many times, I put on my 'mom army boots' for my sons. Both Eastern Phoebes are never far away from their nest and it makes me smile that they trust us to stay and know we would not hurt their babies either. Now at night when I come home from work late, my son will open the door slowly, so I can get in and we don't disturb her. She sleepily watches us and then snuggles back down on her eggs. Her mate, always either on the shepherds hook keeping watch or in the trees next to the driveway - he is never far away from his family. Lesson learned:  God nevers leaves us, just as we should never leave our own family.
• #8 - Let go of anger. If you watch the birds, you will once in awhile see an angry bird (and I'm not talking about the game here). And, oooooooo, there is nothing like an angry bird telling you or someone off. You thought your mom could yell? Listen to an angry bird yell. But, watch and that bird will let go of the anger quickly (well most of the time, I have seen male Geese who are on the angry side - but then again, I think that is more show than anything). I've watched pairs of birds get really angry at each other and have joked around with my sons - looks like a domestic going on in the Robin house, or the sparrow house or whatever bird couple is yelling. Then those same bird couples have let go of the anger and feeding each other, or singing sweetly back and forth. Lesson learned: God forgives us all the time, whether we ask or not. But it helps when we get on our knees and apologize to Him for the wrongs we have done. So we need to follow God's example and forgive those who have hurt us as well. Always remember this commandment from Jesus: John 15:12 - "This is My commandment: that ye love one another, as I have loved you."

The list could go on, but I will stop here. My hope is that after reading this you all will: Take time to watch the birds and learn from them. Take time to listen to their songs of Praise and remember to Praise God ourselves. Take time to check in on family and friends and let them know you care. Take time to say I love you. Most importantly, take time for God everyday.

Little Prayers

This morning I had a reminder that God answers all prayers - even the smallest requests. And when He answered that simple little prayer this morning, I had a huge smile on my face and I know that God had an even bigger smile on His face.

While shopping earlier with my son, God answered a little prayer regarding my sunglasses. In the middle of the store, I went to hand my son, Mark, a pen to cross off items on the list and my sunglasses popped out of the side pocket of my purse (I have the type of glasses that sunglasses fit on with magnets. My eyes are so sensitve that I cannot be without sunglasses when I'm outside). Mark and I laughed as my sunglasses were hanging on the metal cart because of the strong magnet, so I put them back in the side pocket where they belong. When we went to leave, I went to put on my sunglasses and they weren't there. Mark and I were searching everywhere, he even walked back through the store following where we went to see if they were laying on the ground (he had seen me put them back in the pocket). A very kind gentleman sitting at the front of the store even helped him look around there. No sunglasses in site. So I took the cart out to load the car and he walked the store. While walking to the car I said a prayer to St. Anthony (who, in case you don't k now, is the patron Saint of lost things and he has helped us find many things over the years) and I asked St. Anthony to guide Mark to find my sunglasses (thinking they had to be somewhere in the store). While I was walking to my car and squinting, my eyes were starting to hurt and a headache was starting to form, I said a quick prayer to God , "Father God, you are the only one who knows exactly where my sunglasses are and you know I need them to see in the bright light, Lord Jesus help me to find them." At the end of my prayer, I had reached my car and walked around to the back of the cart to start loading the things in the trunk and there right in the cart and laying on a bag (which looked like someone flattened it out smooth) lay my sunglasses - just like someone had gently laid them there for me to see. Thank you God!!! Totally a God smile. I knew right away who put my sunglasses there, smoothing out the bag to be flat and I thanked God for that quick answer.

Sometimes, we need that reassurance about answered prayers especially when we are going through what I call, the desert time - when God is silent. It's a hard time to go through - you're faith is being tested. At times like this, I do know that God does indeed hear my prayers, but it's easy to get frustrated and yell at God that He's not listening. You can't help but feel alone, yet deep down we know that we are not alone, that God is right there. He's got our back. And like a patient father watching His beloved child take baby steps, He is watching us as we take these steps on our individual journeys. Learning to completely trust Him. This is a very hard lesson to learn, but one God is so patient with us to learn - complete trust in HIM.

Just last night, while sitting at my prayer window asking for God's help with a very troubling issue in my life, I knew God was listening and is answering my prayers, as the beloved person I was praying over and for walked under my window. God was listening to my heart-felt plea and letting me know that He's got it covered. God is always listening and helping us to learn, we just need to be open to His lessons.  We just have to let go and let God do His work. Total trust in Him.

Recently at a meeting with my prayer team, while discussing answered prayers, someone pointed out that sometimes God answers those little prayers to get you ready for the answer to your big prayer and also, just to remind you - 'Yes, my child, I am here and I am listening. I love you. Don't worry.' Today was one of those little prayers that was answered quickly and I am so greatful for God's help not only in finding my sunglasses, but teaching me to totally trust in Him. And when I prayed that little, seemingly unimportant prayer, in my heart I knew that God was the only one who knew exactly where those glasses were and He was the only one who could find them and He did, but only after I totally turned my trust over to God to help.....